noah beck doing life stresses me out

Photo courtesy: @noahbeck & me

in noah we do not trust…

They say write what you know. And after 400+ hours watching Noah Beck’s YouTube channel, here’s what i know:

  • Noah Beck does not want us to see his forehead

  • Noah Beck lives in an Equinox that cosplays as his home

  • Noah Beck’s water must be flavored

  • Noah Beck uses the word “absolutely” way too much

  • and Noah Beck is “not on a diet” but he eats the exact. same. meal. every. single. day:

***my friend Michael assures me this is sadly, the only way his body looks insane. 

All of this (naturally) makes me want to jump into a blender. 

ACTUALLY, before we go on, i implore all six of you reading this to stop what you're doing right now and turn your attention to Beck's YouTube channel. Any “at home” vlog will do. Then, let's circle back and you can meet me in hell. 

Do not get me wrong, i love it here. i wouldn’t have it any other way, but i have concerns.

i want more for Beck. i want him to receive the Rita Ora Hollywood treatment: hoeing it up with every A-D list celebrity on a yacht, showing up to any and all premieres/smoothie collabs. But mostly, i want him to learn how to cook ground meat like a normal person and purchase a single other pan.   

So until we can achieve this newfound era, i will continue to watch Noah and his lifeless abs but i will remain stressed.

That’s all.

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